©Urheber-ID 986011
After having to deal with my stroke for almost three months now, I am becoming more and more aware of what I need to do and how I need to do it. Achieving the final results is not easy for me, but often shows and causes a negative effect for and on me.
Movements
My perception of the possibilities of movement makes it clear to me that I have to make changes. For me, this means that I have to continue to train my body and learn new things.
In addition to my spinal gymnastics exercises, I am also offered special changes that I have not yet noticed through the use of a corresponding back school: Balance problems, functional training and strain on my shoulders!
I can absorb every exercise and every lesson well and have to try something new every time to bring about changes. I can replace my own activities, such as my back training (after my L4/L5 operation), Pilates (to build up my deep muscles) and dancing in the club, as I am learning that I can do them without putting others in danger.
I often find it difficult to adapt and learn something new every time.
Perceptions
I’m sure we’ve all been there: „What does that mean?“
Several times I have to think hard about what I have heard (statements from a conversation) or read (which meaning and which term) in order to find an answer or solution for myself. Words and concepts are missing and I can’t replace them, even though I keep getting or finding answers to them, but I can’t call them up and store them in my brain.
It’s different with the reconstruction of design offers such as square patterns that I have to build from 16 cubes! Or pattern templates of numbers on a sheet that are disorganized and often missing a number that I have to find and replace. I can work through that without it causing me any problems.
But when it comes to observing pictures and the patterns they contain, it’s often difficult for me. If the patterns are in the form of circles or squares that also show changing colors and sections, this can really limit my understanding and my ability to recognize them. It is particularly difficult with memory games: I find it difficult to rearrange pictures of objects depending on their color and model, as I cannot determine their location.
However, if they are identical photos/animals that I have to tell apart in terms of color and design, this is very close to the demands I place on myself: error after error that I can’t erase.
Speak and read
For many years, I not only spoke my mother tongue, but also spoke and wrote in English and French, because I appreciated them all 50 years ago at grammar school. Unfortunately, this causes recognition and expression problems that I will not allow to persist.
The new learning methods I have been trying since February to be able to speak Italian have been virtually wiped out. My French has been downgraded, making it difficult for me to listen, read and write. But now I’m looking to pick up this language next, once I’ve got my English back up to scratch. I’m working on it every day and making some progress.
However, when I look at my German and my ability to understand all texts as I have obviously read them, comprehension problems occur far too often. With advice from the speech therapists, I am increasingly trying to control and improve my knowledge.
All areas of my brain need to be reconnected and reactivated via synapses! I work on this by working on a crossword puzzle to find the solutions and answers that are recognized as correct. I practise, practise and practise … but often have to cry because everything is lost again or I find it very difficult.
When I am told that this is currently a problem, but that it will work again in the future (… in three or twelve or 28 months?), then I am not satisfied and happy, because my problems are obvious and drag me down emotionally.
Learning new things or revisiting old ones will help me a lot to get back into a normal life with lots of communication. At the moment, I prefer to be alone, because in addition to the learning processes I have described, my left-sided tinnitus is once again hindering me immensely. If I have to follow more than two conversations, my brain switches off again in order to understand them.
I prefer to be alone and find a solution that I can remember.
Move
When I want to move, I always think about the restrictions placed on me: Not moving a vehicle on the road for three months. So a driving ban for me to protect everything from me and myself.
For a good month now, however, I’ve been riding my bike from time to time for around twelve kilometers in an area I know. To protect myself, I have once again bought a helmet, which is not necessarily recommended by the ADFC, but is generally supposed to protect my head in the event of a fall. So I wear it when I ride my bike!
Today I used our tandem together with my beloved wife, where I was able to show her and myself that we are doing well again. Our journey was about twelve kilometers long, but only went along cycle paths that were mostly off the roads in park-like terrain. It was a lovely ride, which made me realize that it had gone well again: no fixed pre-planning, but a bindingly very good ride for the two of us on a tandem.
Changes in July
My previous outpatient rehab was approved by the health insurance company until July 5th, 2024. However, I would currently like to get another extension at the rehab facility so that I can concentrate again on everything I have described in my last three blogs.
On the one hand, it is impossible for me to obtain such approval myself. The doctors looking after me currently understand the problems I have presented to them and the possible dangers that will arise for me.
Parallel to these measures with the health insurance company, I am already trying to take part in many activities outside the rehabilitation facility: Pilates, back training, spinal gymnastics, speech therapy, neuropsychology, psychotherapy, etc. to be able to coordinate and book them.
I know that I should or must then drive there on my own responsibility. My abilities will be able to save me from becoming disoriented by driving myself, provided they don’t disappear again.
Following a navigation system would be a benefit, but would leave me in despair if the routes displayed were no longer up to date because the sat nav failed or mobile reception was interrupted. I can’t really influence this at the moment, but I wish I could.
My desire for improvements is great and I always try not to forget anything. Am I not already too old for this? I don’t think so, because I didn’t have any problems on March 28, 2024. However, these were affected by the stroke and require my openness to be restored.
I try to do everything I can and to train. My hopes are high, but success is very limited and only possible to a limited extent.
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